Simple Pleasures

I plan to stay single a little bit longer.

There, I finally blurted it out and formalized it in writing. (Gosh, i heart my new blog, I can write whatever I want. Haha!) I still don’t feel compelled to say this to appease my friends with their ‘probing’ inquisitions. Rather, I write it to affirm my convictions.

I said it as though I have other options. And I wrote as if falling in love can be planned. In fact I do have choices, I have four… and counting. Haha! But, I don’t want to barge into a new relationship unscrupulously just because I’m emotionally fragile.

Of course, I couldn’t pick the right moment to fall in love. But I believe that relationships can’t reside on feelings alone. Having heard a lot of heart-breaking stories of failed relationships and marriages, I think people forget that one should have a certain level of maturity and responsibility when they decide to be together. That is what I am not ready for.

I still can’t define love but I’m learning to say “i love you” in different languages, maybe so that, I can understand if they truly have the same meaning in different cultures.

But I don’t want to expound on this. I haven’t been thinking much about that lately. But I believe in love and all it’s various forms. Maybe, that is why, I enjoy being single at the moment. I don’t feel wanting for anything, so I’m having the time of my life. I don’t feel wanting, so any simple pleasure I get is quite excessive for me that I feel very blessed.

This feeling is quite new to me (that I haven’t been single for sometime) that I feel overwhelming joy in this state of emotional detachment. This time, I can focus fully on myself and my craft, with undivided attention. Having been single for quite some time now, I discovered that I’m surrounded with heaps of various forms of love. And I feel so blessed that even though I’m not wanting, simple pleasures come my way in large doses every single day.

Things that make me feel so blessed every day:

1. New discoveries in various fields like language, literature, culture, arts, science and technology
2. Hanging out with old and newly-found friends and loving friends who love me back, unconditionally
3. Special favors I get, most of the time from Guys 1 & 2
4. Kilig moments especially with Guys 3 & 4 (hihi! kilig laugh)
5. Exposure to poetry nights, art exhibits, music gigs, and watching heart-felt, well executed movies
6. Admire great people, beauty, talent and profound ideas and principles
   
7. Beauty of nature and wisdom for humanity

And here, I’m making a partial list of things I’ve been wanting to do:

1. Finish my long overdue thesis and make a contribution in my field of study, in language and society
2. Discover the essence of being “human” and live for humanity. (I still firmly believe this has something to do with class struggle but I have to reconcile these ideas with my petty personal experiences and contemplations)
3. Gain weight: Ideal weight should be 110-120lbs Argh! I’m only 98lbs last time I stepped on the weighing scale. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. Eat every 3 hours.
   
4. Take dance lessons and/or yoga lessons. I want to dance carelessly. I want to collect my thoughts.
5. Jog at least once a week and play sports (preferably soccer, tennis, swimming, or boxing). I want to detoxify regularly!
6. Climb Mt. Pulag
7. Visit Baguio and Sagada and go to the beach (preferably Bohol, Palawan or Borawan)
8. Have a trip to another country (preferably visit my family in the US and/or England, or trip to Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Jakarta, Seoul or Hong Kong)
9. Write more. Finish all my writing projects. Write poetry and heart-breaking short stories  for humanity. Write in Filipino and /or Ilocano. Share my poetry with a crowd. Do a performance art.
10. Learn how to scribble Alibata first before learning to speak and write more foreign languages.

So, there’s the list of reasons why I planned to stay single a little bit longer. I think it makes sense that I also moved my wedding date to er… 30, for now. Time of our lives muna and sepia-toned loving!* Woohoo!

Lover, You Shouldve Come Over (Live Acoustic) – Jeff Buckley

*from Jack Johnson’s “Better Together”